Broken Like Never Before

As my husband and I were preparing to leave for our first international mission trip, a thousand thoughts swarmed in my mind. I wasn’t nervous, which didn’t surprise me, because I was sincerely so excited to simply get to Haiti so we could love on those precious children. I was, however, pouring my heart out to Jesus, begging for wisdom and favor. We also spent a lot of time praying together for the Lord to rid us of ourselves and fill us with Him alone. Even now, months after our return home, that is still the main request we make with our Heavenly Father, and it is my hope that we never cease in asking that of Him.

I had no doubt that we would come back from our trip to Haiti with shattered hearts, and as we were spending that week with our friends at Hope Vision Ministry, I could feel it break more and more with each passing day. I felt exactly as I did before we arrived in Port de Paix, except for now I had voices and personalities to go with the faces and hearts I had already loved for so long. Being there make it real, and real hurts. It hurts so bad. Outside of the walls of Hope Vision, there is so much evil and despair, and the worst part about it is that it doesn’t have to be that way. We don’t have to live with false hope, but we choose to. That realization, alone, was enough to break me.

Going to the hard places isn’t easy, and it isn’t always fun, but it is commanded of those who claim the name of Jesus Christ. We must go to the hard places, for that is where people who need Him the most are. May the Lord make us obedient to follow His commands while fighting off evil with the power and confidence of the Living God. I praise Him for bringing me to Haiti and opening my eyes to things I had only seen in pictures. I just want to be willing, that’s all. Willing to go when, where, and how He leads, all the while trusting that His promises are true and His faithfulness is unlike any other.

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